Week Four

Week Four Weight: 226.0

Loss this week: 2.8#

Total lost in four weeks: 12#

I'm pretty happy with those figures, especially after last week's fiasco of 0.2# lost. I hung in there though, and was rewarded (thank goodness).

The lesson is not to allow disappointing results to push you back into destructive habits; it's easy to do.

The funny thing is, I allowed myself more calories this week; I had more days with >2000 in. Maybe it gave me more to burn?? Who knows; when I reported my program to my son early on, he told me that I needed to be eating more, and I rely on his athletic background and knowledge often.

Another thing that's new; when I am hungry, I am ravenous! The food must be going somewhere.

I am more satisfied by healthy foods. When you're in chubby mode and constantly overeating, healthier choices don't seem appetizing. Faced with the option, apple pie or apple, you'll take the pie every time.

Once you cut back though, and get real hunger brought on by expending energy, rather than just cravings and desire for food out of sadness, boredom, loneliness, etc., the nutrient-rich foods taste much better. It feels like you're giving your body something that is doing it good, or that it needs.

That said, how many drug addicts and alcoholics sing the praises of sobriety with its clarity of thought and experience of processing their true feelings, only to relapse? What makes us return to the misery? That is the age-old question. It truly is a life-long process that requires consistent vigilance and self-awareness.

Day by day.

Week by week.
P.S. Here is a link to a great Rachael Ray mag feature on healthy snacks. A lot of great ideas!
http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/103-healthy-snack-recipe-ideas

Hit the Road



Calories in:  2002
Calories burned:  1142
Net:                    860
Exercise: 2 hours walking outdoors.
I didn't post yesterday, and that was an intentional omission. Calories in yesterday: 2400. Calories burned: 0,
I ate healthy but frequently and did not work out at all. Did take a nap though; that's becoming a Saturday 'thing'. Meals on Saturday: Bkfst, 1 C. oatmeal with blueberries, almonds and honey. Lunch, grilled chicken salad at Rod N' Gun. Dinner, 2 tortilla wraps with chicken, mayo, feta cheese & romaine lettuce, 2 cups chicken rice soup. Snack 1, 1 C. sf/ff butterscotch pudding w/ 5 rf gingersnaps. Snack 2, 4 cups plain popcorn with 1/2 cup lowfat granola and 2 glasses of wine.
Today I got out and walked. I had to pick up a prescription at Wal-Mart, so I decided to walk there. I shopped a bit and then walked to Celoron next. It was very pleasurable to be out in the bright sunshine for that length of time, although it was cold and windy. The pavement was (pretty much) dry!
I should mention that I don't mosey along; I walk briskly and work up a sweat.  I don't run, but I'm a power-walker.
Meals today: Bkfst., 3 pancakes with some added granola & blueberries, light margarine and 1/4 cup syrup.
Lunch,  1/2 cup hummus with 1 C. baby carrots and 20 Special K herb crackers, and 1 C. green seedless grapes. Dinner, 2 1/2 cups whole wheat thin spaghetti with spaghetti sauce made with chopped yellow pepper &  ground turkey, topped with 1 tbsp parmesan.
I'm wearing some jeans today that I haven't worn for several months because they were too tight. That's a good feeling. Tomorrow morning I WILL get up for spin (!).

Outward Bound

TGIF

Calories in:  1751

Calories burned:  528

Net:              1223

Exercise:  One-hour nature hike at the Audobon. It was a bit icier, snowier and muddier than the lovely picture above, but still awesome. I saw geese walking, swimming and flying, a beaver swimming to its dam, and several white-tailed deer; some quite near to me. We're so lucky to have this beautiful, preserved area close by.

Meals today:

Bkfst, an eggwhite sandwich from Timmy Ho's. I had heard they were tasteless; but I found it quite good! Guess I have simple tastes.

Lunch, two cups of the penne with surimi, peas, artichoke hearts and mushrooms from last night.

Dinner, two pieces of pizza and 2 cups of homemade chicken soup.

Snack, one cup sf/ff butterscotch pudding with 5 gingersnaps.

There was no bingeing today, which was good. The alarm rang at 5:30 this morning, and I hit snooze too many times. I decided I needed the sleep, but would be sure to get some activity later, which I did. Of course if I'd done both it would be even better.

And I wonder why I lose tenths of pounds per week... meh.

Keep on truckin', Baby.

Triumph (Sort of)



Calories in: 1638
Calories burned: 571
Net:              1067
Exercise: one hour power walk with the dogs.
Now it gets tricky... the meals.
Bkfst, 3/4 cup cereal w/ frozen blueberries & almond milk- 200 calories.
Lunch, salad of romaine, grape tomatoes, cucumber, peas & light ranch dressing- 196 calories.
So, I get to dinner with only 396 calories under my belt, and STARVED. Not a good plan.
I proceeded to make a healthy stir-fry with multi-grain penne, crab delight, peas, artichoke hearts, mushrooms, onions, garlic and EVOO. One bowl was so good (with a glass of wine), that I treated myself to a second (and another wine). I mean, when something is that healthy, what can it hurt? I only put 2 servings of penne in there, so it was heavy on the other ingredients. So far so good, but there was a hit of mac n cheese in the fridge calling my name. I say 'hit' because the craving is something akin to that of any junkie. Mind you, it was made with 'light preparation' (heart smart margarine, skim milk, with veggies added), but I heated that up and ate what was left.
You do the math; my dinner damage was over 1200 calories. Still in the 1600's for the day, but with a definite failure of my control mechanism. 'I'm trying to achieve a normal life,' I told myself. 'Don't normal people pig out on macaroni from time to time?'
Tricky question; yes, they do; no, I can't, lest I spiral downward into the Kraft gutter. That old, FULL feeling, nowhere in sight while I was scarfing down, reared it's icky head. To make matters worse? I hadn't exercised. Didn't even take the gym bag this morning.
We know where this is going unless I get a grip!
So, at quarter to eight tonight, I hit the road with the dogs and took a rewarding, crisp, briskly brutal hike, and I was glad I did. Maybe I needed the carbs, because I felt amazing energy and endurance.
In the end, I felt that I had (somewhat) righted the temporary insanity. That IS, I think, something that normal people do. Overindulge, expend some calories.
If you play, you gotta pay.
Ah, the dramatic struggles of the chub-ette. So trite.
Really.

Quickie

Rapid post:
Calories in: 1813
Calories burned: 521
Net: 1292
Exercise: 30 minute spin class.
Meals: Bkfst, egg beaters w/ mushrooms& 2 pcs whole wheat toast w/ lt. margarine. Lunch, Panera Chopped Thai Salad (awesome- 390 calories), afternoon snack, apple, lt. string cheese. Dinner, 1cup mac n' cheese w/ 1 cup veggies, 2 chicken drumsticks. Eve snack, 1/2 cup lowfat granola w/ 1/4 cup frozen blueberries & 1 cup Almond Breeze milk.

Fight the Dismay



Wk 3 wt: 228.8#.
Grand total of weight lost over a week of counting calories and exercising daily?
0.2#.
Yes, two-tenths of a pound...
Deep breath. Be glad for the improved overall health and (prior to the digital moment) well-being.
My cousin Geri messaged me early on and advised against weighing; she goes entirely by how her clothes fit and avoids the numbers game.
I like the idea, but this is a weight-loss blog, and I feel compelled to report some kind of measurable progress. I could cut back my calories further but don't want to. While I know that muscle doesn't really weigh more than fat, as I build more muscle, I hope to burn calories more efficiently, and thus be able to eat a reasonable amount. I won't cut down to a figure that I couldn't live with; minimal weight loss or not.
I'm hoping something will click into gear soon. In the meantime, I'll just keep doing what I've been doing, and try not to be disheartened. If I'd never started, I could've been up to 245 by now; at least I'm going in the right direction.
Calories in today:  1582
Calories burned:      978
Net:                       604
Exercise: A non-stop hour at the Y- 30 min on the elliptical, 10 min. on a Nu-step recumbent exerciser and 20 minutes walking on a treadmill.
We'll stick with this and see what happens...

First Full Day of... Spring?

Ommmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Calories in:  1554

Calories burned:  864
Net:                 690
Exercise:  30 minute spin class in AM, 45 minute yoga class in PM.
Meals: Bkfst, whole wheat tortilla, 3/4 cup egg beaters with chopped red pepper & mushrooms. Lunch, 1 cup macaroni salad and 3/4 cup of my banana cream pie (see Sun-Day post). After work, 1/2 cup red wine. Dinner, 2 cups macaroni salad and 3 cups green (romaine) salad with cherry tomatoes, cucumber & balsamic vinaigrette. Snack, 1 cup of the banana cream pie.
I am feeling more fit; able to keep up better in yoga. It must be true what they say about 'muscle memory'; that you quickly regain your ability to do things that you were once habituated to. That pleases me, because it depressed me to have lost those skills. I hope this encourages you to pick up an activity that you once loved and excelled at.
Now Christina has given me information and sign-ups for some 5k's; which presents a huge challenge. An avid and brisk walker, I DO NOT RUN. I'm debating whether to try to attempt jogging vs deciding that it's just not for me. That's the decision for this week. The plus is that it would be a great activity to do with my friends.
Once again, I think about The Biggest Loser, where 400-lb people run on the treadmill. The trainers say that believing it can't be done is just a mental barrier.
We'll see.

Sun-Day

Calories in:  1422
Calories burned: 286
Net:              1136
Exercise: 30 minute brisk outdoor walk with one killer hill (Sprague in Jamestown for those of you who are familiar).
Another sunny, beautiful day. Shopped, visited my Aunt and cousins, and then came home and 'spa'- treated myself to haircolor & pedicure.
Meals today bkfst: Honey bunches of oats cereal w/ blueberries & skim milk, lunch, sf/ff banana pudding mixed with lite cool whip, dinner 2 ff hot dogs (Oscar Meyer- 40 calories each!) on wheat buns & a cup of homemade macaroni salad. Dessert, Stan's low cal pie; 3" piece.
OK- I must explain my lunch, and the pie. My cousin Stan gave me a recipe for '1000 calorie pie' that I've been eager to try. There are many variations; it calls for a crust, 2 boxes of sf/ff pudding, 2% milk (he recommends- I used skim because that's what I had) & cool whip lite. As long as you follow those principals, you could do graham cracker crust w/ chocolate pudding & cool whip, or Oreo crust with vanilla pudding & cool whip, you get the idea. I did as my cousin Geri suggested, and per Stan's direction, a banana cream pie. I layered a pie plate with reduced fat Nilla Wafers, then sliced a large banana and spread the slices around. Then, without consulting the recipe one last time, I made the two boxes of banana cream pudding per the pkg. directions, with 4 cups milk total. Then I added the small tub of cool whip lite. I ended up with too much filling, because you're supposed to only add 2 cups of milk. So I filled my pie and had a bowlful of filling left over. It was a delightful lunch! After dinner we had the pie and it was delish.
I hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

Weekend Warrior



 

First crocus of the season; the reward for getting outside.

 

Our dogs, Dolly & Simon, out for a walk.



Calories in:  1626

Calories burned: 857

Net:           769

Exercise: 90 minute outdoor power-walk of 4-5 miles; over hill, dale and muddy puddles.

Our Spring reprieve laid low today; it was dry but cold- 30 degrees. A bit windy at times, but once you got moving and warmed up, really no problem at all. Once again, I'll forego the gym for the chance to take a hike, and 'the kids' love it too.

Meals today; Bkfst a mix of 2 cereals; banana and skim milk. Lunch, 3 cups homemade chicken noodle soup & a whole wheat tortilla with 3 tbsp. homemade hummus. Dinner, 2 cups soup and a PB sandwhich on whole wheat bread. Snack, 2 tbsp. raw almonds.

I took a nap after my walk; I'm becoming quite the accomplished daytime sleeper! Some years ago I  read a book by Geneen Roth; I think it was When Food is Love (I'll spare you the lengthy subtitle, but it was good).

In it she gave suggestions for what you could do to resist cravings and mindless eating, and one of them was to take naps. I was shocked. It sounded so lazy, so stereotypically sluggish, so fat-like.

So then, the answer to weight loss wasn't stair climbing, lunges or deprivation??

 Sometimes, anything you wanted to do was a fitting alternative to, well, eating continuously.

We fatties develop crazy warped mindsets; I should speak only for myself, but I know there are more of you out there. It's that all-or-nothing stuff again, and we can only break free by getting over it. Mentally and physically healthy individuals do not sweat every choice, every preference and decision to this degree.

Mindful is very different from obsessed.

If you can learn to trust yourself to make sound decisions, and to give yourself what you need when you need it without the guilt, self-punishent and rebound destruction, I'm coming to realize that the rest of the nonsense will take care of itself.

At Last

Seriously; don't you just love Fridays? I was home today, which made it even better.

Calories in:  2006
Calories burned: 642
Net:               1364
Exercise: 3 hours of vacuuming, laundry and cleaning. Yes, I took advantage of the opportunity to do some hard-core housework; it counts! I sat around a bit in the morning and knew I had to get moving. And move I did! Now we have a head-start on the weekend, which is good.
I ate more calories being at home- it was a hungry kind of day, though all of the choices were healthy ones.
Meals: Bkfst, 3/4 cup oats cereal w/ 1/4 cup Special K granola added, skim milk & blueberries. Lunch- more leftover whole wheat/turkey spaghetti, but I ate about twice as much as I did yesterday. I tend to eat things up to get rid of them; they say 'better to waste than to waist'; but I have trouble with that philosophy. Late afternoon snack a homemade trail mix of 2c popcorn, 2tbsp raw almonds, 1/4 cup lowfat granola, and a tbsp of raisins. Dinner, a salad of romaine, 1/2 cup garbanzo's, 1/2 cup chopped tomato, 1 tbsp raisins, & 1/2 a grilled chicken breast. And my glass of red wine with my movie tonight.
I actually felt hungry for a little something more until I added up my day; that brought me back to reality, & I skipped the extra snack.
It was another lovely, sunny day, and I was able to open windows upstairs and air out the bedrooms- so nice to do again.
Looking forward to the weekend. Goal- exercise both days.

Hello, Spring!

Hallelujah!!!

Calories in:  1504

Calories burned:  571
Net:              933
Exercise: 60 minute walk (with dogs!) outside... IN THE SUN!!! In blistering 62-degree heat. :-)
Just when I despaired of ever absorbing Vitamin D again, it happened. AT LAST. Shirtsleeve weather. Capri weather. That breeze, those sounds; that smell to the air.
I took my gym bag to work, planning to stop and work out after. But when I stepped into the balmy Spring weather, I headed straight for home and took to the streets with my 'kids', Simon and Dolly. They were so happy and excited! They are toy breeds and don't get out much all winter, and they love to walk. We all enjoyed our excursion tremendously, covered a lot of territory and climbed two big hills. As I posted the other day, no machine can replicate a good hill.
Meals today: Bkfst., oatmeal from Tim Horton's. Lunch, left-over spaghetti (w/ whole-wheat pasta & ground turkey) from last night. Supper, two reuben wraps made w/ whole wheat tortillas, thin-sliced corned beef, low-fat lorraine swiss cheese, and fresh coleslaw. And one beer. It was St. Patrick's Day after all. Snack, 1 cup lowfat cottage cheese w/ 1/4 cup frozen blueberries.
One year ago today, we moved my Mom into the Rehab. Unit where I work. She was recovering from cancer surgery, and wasn't ready to come home yet. She stayed ten days, then went home and died two months later. I fell into a prevailing depression, essentially quit moving, and gained weight. As happy as I am to see this time of year roll around again, the color and cast of the sunlight, the warmth, and the dirty melting snow on the sides of the road take me back to that difficult time. It makes me sad, but I push myself to appreciate the gift of another year, another season, and to honor my mother by loving this life she gave me. Some days I have to push pretty hard, as we all do. Everyone has their struggles.
We conquer them the same way we lose weight; one hour, one day, one week at a time.

Soothsayer- A Day Late

3/15/11 Calories in:  1322

            Calories burned: 885

            Net:              437

Exercise: 20 min. on elliptical w/ rpm bursts the final 15 sec. of every minute; 1 hr. yoga class

Yes I know, the Ides was yesterday, but I didn't get the opportunity to post, and I can't let it pass without mention!
I should have paid heed to the warning. I was concerned that I might suffer the 'week 2 curse', and indeed I did; losing 1.8 pounds this week. As the contestants bravely say, I worked hard and did my best. The result was disappointing, I won't lie; but I can't let it hang me up. I am feeling more fit, able to endure more vigorous workouts, and I know this is going to help the weight come off.
Meals for Tuesday were bkfst: Special K, frozen blueberries, skim milk. Lunch, 1 can Progresso Italian Wedding soup and 3 tbsp raw almonds. Dinner, 1 piece pepperoni pizza (1/8 of a large) and a simple salad of romaine, tomato and balsamic vinaigrette. Snack, 1 cup sf/ff vanilla pudding.
I'm cutting back a bit further where I can; I usually have a 2-pc limit for pizza, but had just one this time, and was satisfied with that and the salad. I also tend to 'carb up' a salad, adding cece beans and raisins, etc., which I still do if it is more of a main course or with a light meal; but with something like pizza a green salad is sufficient. That balance word again- does it not make its way into every post??
So it's now Wednesday morning the 16th, and I've already gone to Spin. I really love it, and it's amazing what a workout you can get into 30 minutes once you up the intensity.
In summary, as for the 1.8? A  week of my life passed with a feeling of balance, a growing sense of optimism and increasing self-control and confidence.
You can't put a number on that.

Pi, Anyone?

Calories in: 1793
Calories burned: 842
Net:                 951
Exercise: 30 minute spin class and 90 minutes working on a nursing unit helping with resident direct care and transport (I took the equivalent, on the Univera site, of cleaning for 90 minutes).

It was a busy and stressful day; but then again aren't most of them? Mondays can be especially crazy, but things turned out alright.

Bkfst: Egg Beaters with chopped orange sweet pepper and a pomegranate Greek yogurt.
Lunch:  Potatoes, carrots and cabbage leftover from the St. Paddy's meal, a banana and an orange.
Supper: a pork chop, 1/2 cup stuffing and 1 cup Normandy vegetables.
Snack:  1 cup sf/ff vanilla pudding with a few frozen blueberries added.

Days and weeks are passing by, and the program continues. It feels as though the healthy meal choices and regular exercise are becoming habits, and require less conscious effort; although it is important not to lose focus. I dream that I've gorged on junk food and wake up nervous; running a mental check to be sure I didn't really fall off the wagon. My issues with food are too deep-seated to expect complete severence from the toxic relationship; at least at the two-week point. I am just hoping that they dim with time to a distant memory...
Talking to my husband and son this evening, I was reminded of how sensitive I am to their comments and what I am sure they believe to be constructive criticisms. I should be eating less calories if I'm on a 'diet'; I should be eating more calories to fuel more effective workouts; if I'm working out for an hour and still standing afterward, I'm not working hard enough. Everyone has advice and opinions. As we watched tv my son said, "Mom, does it make you mad that Ann Curry looks thirty?" Because I, by contrast, look...? Oh, insecure middle-age sucksitsucksitsucks!
I pouted over it briefly before realizing that the input of others, while registered and considered, and heeded where I feel it should be, is less important than my own instincts and steady progress. I'm the one living in this body, and I'm the one who has to make peace with it and take care of it. It's too easy to use my reactions as excuses to give up; and I am not willing to do that. And if I'm reacting out of proportion to what is being communicated, that is another lesson learned. Listen, put it into perspective and move on.
The take-away? This is hard stuff that has resulted from decades of maladaptive behavior. Sure, it's disappointing that there's no fast and simple fix, but this realization is its own reward.
Hang on, hang in, be grateful and be cool.

Turkey Chili Recipe

Turkey Chili

Ingredients:

1# 99% lean ground turkey

1/2 large sweet onion, chopped

2 sweet peppers (red, yellow, orange or a combination), chopped

1 2.5 oz. can sliced black olives

1 6 oz. can tomato paste

1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes

1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes

2 15 oz. cans black beans

2 tbsp. olive oil

A few dashes Franks hot sauce

2 tsp. chili powder

A dash of cayenne pepper

Warm the olive oil in a dutch oven over medium heat. Add the onion and the ground turkey, breaking up the meat with a wooden spoon. After 2-3 min., add the chili powder, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, sweet peppers and black olives. Stir and let the flavors blend for 5 minutes or so; then add the tomato paste & one paste-can full of water. Stir in and simmer for another 3-5 min. Add the diced tomatoes, crushed tomatoes and beans.

Simmer for 30 minutes and serve hot.

Even better the next day.

Irish Eyes Are Smilin'

Erin go Bragh

This weekend:

Saturday- Calories in:   1806         Bkfst: special K w/blueberries & skim milk

               Calories burned: 0         Lunch: 2 C. homemade turkey chili

               Net:             1806         Snack: 1 W.W. tortilla w/ 1 tbsp. P.B.  Dinner: 3 C. chili

Sunday- Calories in:  1844

             Calories burned: 1079

             Net:              765

             Exercise: 30" elliptical, 30" recumbent cycle

Sunday meals- Bkfst: special K w/ blueberries, 1/2 banana & milk.

                      Lunch:  2 C. Malbec (wine consumed while cooking a St. Patrick's Day dinner and   hanging out with family).

                      Dinner: 2 slices corned beef, 1 potato, 2 C. boiled cabbage, 2 carrots, 1 slice Irish Soda Bread.

                     Dessert: 1 C. Edy's mint brownie ice cream

Saturday was a day of errands and a road trip to pick up our son; so I didn't get any exercise worked in. I did take an afternoon nap, which was delightful and refreshing. The 3 cups of chili happened because we didn't get home to eat until 8:30pm and I was starved; plus the chili was almost gone and so I ate it up (bad habit, I know). I made it though and it was delish; I'll post the recipe.

Sunday we planned a St. Paddy's dinner with my Dad, who will be out of town on Thursday. It was a great day, cooking and laughing with my guys, and the meal was very good. Simple, Irish fare. I made the Soda Bread, which was fun. We even had green ice cream! I went to the Y and worked out before we started cooking; a preemptive calorie burn. It felt great to exercise when I missed yesterday. I really do enjoy my workouts, and making them a priority feels like I'm taking care of myself.  That said, I am happy with 30-60- minute sessions. I know I could not maintain a several hour/day, Biggest Loser- style exercise program.

Overall, it was a feel-good weekend. I did mentally torture myself a bit over eating 1800 calories and not exercising yesterday, but I tried to suck it up. It's only food, it's only one day. I'm trying not to succumb to obsessive sickness about the whole thing; which I can easily slip into. The goal is to be healthier and better adjusted, and to eat sensibly without letting food (or should I say my love/hate relationship with it) rule my life.

As they say, Eat, Breathe, Move.

Enough Already

Seriously- how long can this go on? Yesterday it was raining, today we wake to another 3 inches of freshly fallen snit. (New word: snow/shit)

We are a hearty bunch here in the Northeast, but this winter has been trying even by our standards. This weekend I will find a big field and track the word 'UNCLE' in the snow. Maybe that will make an impression on the weather gods.

I did manage to dig out and go to spin class this morning. On the bright side, when it finally is warm and dry outside, taking off at 0600 will seem a cinch by comparison.
Now that the griping is out of the way, Happy Friday everyone!
It's been a pretty good day thus far. I strapped a wide belt over my top to flaunt the waist that I am re-claiming, thanks to my efforts. It does not yet rival that of Barbie, but I am encouraged. Getting rid of deadly visceral fat, which is good.
I realized at the Y yesterday afternoon that I enjoy parallel play. I'm not one to have a workout 'buddy', but it is nice just to have others around you while you do your thing. There's a feeling of community and friendliness there that I like. 80% of the televisions are set on Fox News, which is disturbing (yes- I am still a political left-y when I exercise!), but there is a remote attached to each one; so that's easy enough to fix. Next time I'll scope out the tv situation before I get started. :) There are also newspapers lying about that you can read while on the machines; I missed the boat on that prior to engaging in the recumbent cycle. I must familiarize myself with the amenities.
At dinner last night, my friend Jeff told me that he works out at the high school near his house. The location is convenient, the equipment is plentiful and state-of-the-art, and he pays $20 per quarter! I don't think most people are aware that options like this exist; check it out at your local school.
There are solutions to any barrier to exercise and healthy living that you can come up with. Not enough time? Get up an hour earlier. Can't afford a gym? There are television exercise programs, you can walk outdoors, scrounge yard sales for used equipment, or investigate community options such as the school system. Can't afford healthful food? Eliminate processed, pre-packaged items, buy the basics (which have no additives and tend to be the least expensive), and cook from scratch. If that strikes you as inconvenient, I can introduce you to some people who can tell you how inconvenient it is to have diabetes or heart disease. Your choices are really whittled down at that point.
You can do this. The only real barrier is the one between your ears.

The day before the day before the weekend...

Thursday
Calories in: 1806
Calories burned:  951
Net:                   855

Exercise: 30 intense minutes on Cybex elliptical machine, then 30 minutes on recumbent cycle.

Stood all day at work teaching, my back was killing me and I was exhausted. (Dramatic, huh?)
I left work at 4, had a dinner date sched. with some friends at 6, and knew I should work out in between. I DID NOT feel like it, and seriously considered going home and lying down for two hours.
TODAY's TIP- I've heard it from others and it works- pack the gym bag and have it ready to go, in the car. It's hard to drive past the gym when you know you have everything you need with you. I also fake myself out by saying "half an hour- that's all you have to do. You can take it at a slow pace."
Then, once you get changed and get going, you're fine. My back actually felt much better after I was finished; the ellipticals are low-impact, and as for the recumbent cycle, you're sitting and pedalling. I gave it my all though, and worked up a sweat.
Then I went out for a 1055 calorie steak dinner. It was the Steak and a beer at Forte'- it comes with a small salad, garlic mashed potatoes and a grilled roll. It was delicious. I had one glass of cabernet and one raspberry wheat draft beer. I definitely did better last night, but I still feel OK about tonight.
I had an english muffin with scant butter for breakfast, and a small (1 cup) bowl of the surimi penne  and 1/2 cup of granola w/ 2 tbsp. of raw almonds for lunch.
I'm pleased that I have exercised every day- that's a significant change to my previous activity level.
It is rare that I would go out to eat two nights in a row (a caloric challenge), so that won't be a frequent problem. It's eye-opening when you take the time to add up the calories in a meal; I would not have guessed my dinner would come in that high; it seems like a healthy meal (and it was, if a little calorie-dense). The alcohol brought it up; that is also unusual two days in a row. The good news is I'm feelin' pretty cheerful! And I love my friends and we had a great time.

Wednesday's Totals

Didn't post last night because my calculation site was down; so here are the numbers from 3/9/11:
Calories in: 1479
Calories burned: 521
Net:                   958
Exercise: 30- minute spin class.
Meals; special k, skim milk & blueberries; penne w/ surimi & veg., and dinner was out for Happy Hour; had 2 55-cal beers, broiled haddock, baked potato & salad w/ balsamic vin.
Had to forego the nighttime snack due to the beer, but it was a worthwhile trade in my book!

Hump Day- Get Over It

Good morning everyone. This post comes to you Wednesday, fresh from the AM spin class. Be sure to get your exercise in today. We actually have dry pavement today; making outdoor walking possible (with reduced fracture potential!) You don't have to join a gym if it's not your thing. I actually like walking outside best; you can enjoy the scenery, get in some good hill intervals and listen to your favorite music. For some reason, I can tackle a big hill on land, but cannot tolerate a treadmill set at a significant incline. Boring vs hiking; hanging on for dear life vs trekking- the choice is yours. The point is, you need to find activity that you enjoy and can maintain, in the same way you need to find healthy foods that you love. That's the only formula for sticking with this program. Life is short- have fun!!

Fat Tuesday Night :-)

Calories in:  1436
Calories burned: 457
Net:                 979
Exercise- one hour yoga class
Meals- B- egg beaters 3/4 cup w/ yellow/red peppers & black olive slices, 2 pcs. extra thin multigrain toast.
           L- Chicken & stir-fry veggies (1 & 1/2 cups), 1/2 c. Special K granola w/ 2 tbsp. raw almonds.
           D- stir fry w/ surimi, whole wheat penne, fresh peas and corn (2 cups total; lots of veggies)
       Snack- 1 c. chocolate sf/ff pudding.

You see some recurrent themes day to day; that's because real people have to use up what they have! I've always read through diets where you have half a grapefruit one day and none the next; what happens to the other half? So there has to be some creative repeating & regrouping, but it works out.
Wasn't hungry today, but felt edgy and bitchy. Missing my anesthesia I guess... who knows? Or maybe I was just edgy and bitchy, end of story (though it is NOT my usual state). Unfortunately, I can't blame everything on the regimen.
Tomorrow's another day!

Fat Tuesday

BEWARE THE PACZKI!



Weight at one week- 230.8#

Pounds lost-                  7.2!

I couldn't wait to jump out of bed (OK, I might be taking a bit of artistic license here as I rarely actually jump), but in any case I was anxious to check my weight this morning. The result; I still weigh a lot, but I weigh a good bit less.

As I bask in this success, it is hard not to be daunted by the larger number remaining, but I'm determined to be happy in the moment; one moment at a time, one hour, one day, one week, one month. This is substance abuse that we're dealing with, and the recommended behavioral interventions are very similar. Set reasonable, short-term goals, and only worry about what's immediately in front of you.

My personal goal for the next week? I'd love to see 225#. As a Biggest Loser enthusiast (watch tonight!), I am well aware of the dreaded 'week 2' curse. Drop a lot week one, see it slow down week two. The plan? Just to keep doing as I've been doing, and keep the faith (and resolve).

Have a wonderful day, friends.

Give up self-doubt for lent.

It's a Wrap

Calories in: 1632
Calories burned:  1079
Net:                     553

As you can see by the calories burned, I made it to the Y after work; did 30 minutes on the recumbent bike and 30 more on the elliptical. According to Univera I burned 1079; not sure about that but I'll take it. I know it was challenging at the time! I prayed that I wouldn't keel over on a machine; that would be so embarrassing!
Meals- the cereal, blueberries and skim milk for breakfast. Then, for lunch I had volunteered to eat with this week's new employee orientation group. The food was brought in, so I had to select carefully. The main course was lasagna; about a 3x3" piece, with a thick piece of garlic bread. Ate the pasta, left the bread (which of course I love, but choices have to be made). Also a small tossed green salad with balsamic vinaigrette and a bowl of fresh cut tropical fruit. Not too bad; have to expect those curveballs.
Supper was 1 & 1/2 tortilla wraps with deli turkey, sauteed red pepper strips, lettuce and sliced black olives with a cup of chicken soup. Snack was a cup of butterscotch sugar free/fat free pudding.
In addition to the planned exercise, I am parking in the furthest lot at work, taking the stairs anytime I can, and taking any opportunity to walk around the building on errands. Again, being more active in general.
As it turned out, the day started out sub-optimal but improved as it went on, as days tend to do. All was well.
I heard from a few friends who are joining me on this quest; welcome Cheryl and Scott! Join us; the more the merrier! Feel free to report your day's activities and intake in the 'comments' section; we look forward to hearing from you.
'Night! (Another benefit of eating sensibly- no heartburn when you go to bed.) :)

Happy Monday

I've had occasion to take an honest look at myself this morning, and the image is not flattering.

Things have not gone my way, and I have reacted in a way that is making me reassess my priorities.

The plan: get up early and go to Spin class, then do the elliptical for another 30 minutes (didn't I post this plan, last night?) As I've said, once it's posted, it MUST happen!

Enter Monday morning. Alarm rings, I get up, my husband tells me that I need to drive him to work. He does not work down the street, but over an hour away. This means a nearly 3 hour round trip. This really threw a monkey wrench into my best-laid plans; to work out, return home, get ready for work at a leisurely pace, and get there comfortably in advance of an Orientation presentation that I'm scheduled to give.

We agreed that I would just spin for 30 min., then run home, take him to work, and hurry back.

I dashed out to my car, sensibly dressed in capris, a light hoodie and sneakers. It was about 15 degrees, there was 2-3 inches of new snow in the driveway and on the car, the doors were frozen nearly closed, and very hard to wrench open. Undaunted, I started the car, got the defroster going, and found the snow-brush/ scraper. I cleaned off the windshield, getting a liberal amount of freezing snow on my shoes. The thick, icy frost beneath would NOT scrape off, and was going to have to melt as the car heated up.

Have I mentioned that I am Last-Minute Lucy? I leave for spin (or anywhere that I go, now that I think about it) at the LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE. Because of this, any additional time needed to prepare for the trip makes me late. In this case, it made me miss the class. At 6:10am I could not yet see through the windshield, and I was supposed to be over a mile away, parked, inside and on a bike ready to go in 5 minutes. It was not going to happen, and I was not happy. Not only was I not going to work out for 60 minutes; I wasn't even going to do 30! I felt grouchy and annoyed. I came back into the house and, from his chair, Mike says "back already?" He is somewhat amused when I am burned by my habits (see picture above). My failure to plan has too often become his emergency.

"I can't go. The car's frozen. I'll just take you to work." I huffed.

Did I mention that the reason I needed to take him to work was because he was supposed to ride with a co-worker whose father died last night? Well, that was the reason, and I began to feel plenty ashamed of myself for fuming like an idiot when someone we cared about was suffering such a profound loss.

This blog is about weight loss, yes, but also about the journey to be a better person. It's stunning to come face to face with our shortcomings; our immaturity. My failure to allow adequate time, impatience and dislike for inconvenience are MY problems; no one else's.

It's not even that I am that spoiled, that untouched by family tragedy and loss. I know it sadly too well, and yet still allowed myself to resent flexing my schedule for someone else's. Shameful & sobering.

In the end I surrendered to the frustration, reminded myself that I could adjust, and made a plan to stop at the Y on the way home from work tonight. Not the original plan, but the one that will work and serve everyone best for today.

I came back in, sat down and talked to my husband, who was feeling sad for his friend. Of course, I feel sad  as well. At times like this there are clear priorities; not always clear at first impulse, but right there waiting for our heads to clear.

And the weekend comes to a close...

Calories in: 1337

Calories burned: 428                     
Net:                909

To those of you 'in the know', I realize that the actual caloric demand of my body goes along with the calories burned, but I am just keeping track of my exercise. Keeping it simple rather than trying to calculate metabolic stuff.

Speaking of exercise, today I took credit for vigorous housework. It adds some motivation to vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms, I can tell you! And it is a recognized category according to my moral authority (Univera).

As I posted last night, reviewing what I'd done for the day, I felt a bit lazy. 'A body at rest tends to stay at rest'- I saw on a commercial this morning and got moving. The rewards? My house looks good, my husband feels the support of household help, and I am increasing my daily activity level. Let's face it; the bigger you get, the less you do. It happens gradually, but it happens.

Tomorrow morning- spin. I plan to do another 30 minutes on the elliptical after class, as long as I'm there. Thirty-minute sessions have been a good way to ease into working out, but won't glean the results I'm hoping for. I am NOT a morning person, but it definitely helps to exercise first thing; it's done and under your belt, you don't have to worry about the day getting away from you and not having time, and, you eat well because you don't want to 'undo' your hard work.

Not to mention that at 6:00am there's barely any traffic, parking is readily available, and the gym is not crowded. (Go ahead, Girl, keep talking yourself into it!)

I've been asked to report what I eat; it may help some readers to make choices.

Breakfast- one cup Special K with a sprinkle of Special K granola and about 1/4 cup frozen blueberries.

Lunch- 1 & 1/2 cups of leftover chicken & stir-fry veggies from last night; no rice.

Afternoon snack- 2 cups popcorn cooked in 2tsps canola oil with 2 tbsp. raw almonds tossed in & a glass of diet pop.

Supper- 1 & 1/2 small tilapia fillets sauteed in a little canola oil & seasoned with sea salt, ground pepper, smoked paprika and lemon juice, and 1/2 cup macaroni and cheese mixed with 1/2 cup mixed veggies.

Nighttime snack- 1 cup sugar-free, fat-free instant pudding.

I once read a psychologist's advice to one of my patients. She wrote: 'Choose foods for yourself that you would choose for someone you loved and cared for.'

I'd never heard it put that way before, but it makes a lot of sense.

Hour by hour, day by day. I snacked an extra time today because I was hungry. I don't see any benefit in self-imposed starvation- it might cause me to go overboard later.

Until tomorrow.

Saturday Night Countdown

Calories in: 1173 
Calories burned: 643
Net:                   530

Weekends can be tough on the health plan, but today went well. Stepped out to the Y this afternoon and did 30 minutes on the elliptical- whew! Surprising how easy it was to run out, do my half hour and come back home. It helps that the Y is only a mile away! Had a salad for lunch with romaine, chopped orange pepper, tomato, mushrooms and 1 cup  leftover turkey salad made with light mayo. Supper was chicken stir-fry over brown rice- about 2 cups of chicken/veggies and 3/4 C. rice.
Tonight's snack- a whole wheat tortilla warmed in the microwave and spread with 1 tbsp natural peanut butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon. I cut it pizza-style into 6 pieces. It was chewy and sweet. If crunch is more your thing, crisp the tortilla in a frying pan with non-stick spray.
In between? Went in to work for about a half hour to iron out a computer issue, took a nice ride in the car with my hubby, read, blogged, and talked on the phone. Quiet day, but restful. Of course every day in our house includes some cuddle time with the doggies- they see too little of us on weekdays.

Try this at home

 

Today's lesson- portion size.

This morning I poured a 'serving' of cereal into a 'small' bowl- see picture at the top. I read the box and noted that one serving was 2/3 cup. I eyeballed this, and would have estimated that I had 2 servings there at most.

I then dumped the bowl into a 4-cup measure and was SURPRISED to see that it was a full 2 cups- see picture at center.

When I took one cup from the measure and put it back into my bowl, I realized what a cup of cereal looks like- see picture at the bottom.

Is there anything wrong with eating the FULL bowl? Well, no- as long as you know what you're getting and calculate the calories accurately. The problem is when you THINK you know, and underestimate your intake.

For those of us who lack the concept of portion control, this is a valuable exercise to get an idea of what a portion LOOKS LIKE. You only have to measure once to get the idea.

I buy frozen blueberries to add to my cereal. I can add a full cup if I want, for 70 calories. That is less than the calories in another cup of cereal, and provides a fruit serving. The berries add texture, they thaw as you are eating and make the milk deliciously ICE COLD! 

Two take-aways today-

 1.) you can flesh out a lot of smaller servings by adding in fruits or vegetables. For example; add one cup of mixed vegetables to a cup of stuffing, a cup of spinach to a cup of mac 'n cheese, or a whole fresh peach chopped over 1/2 cup of ice cream.

2.) As you integrate healthy foods into your life, FIND THINGS THAT YOU LOVE TO EAT. There is  no benefit in crunching on rice cakes or celery sticks if you hate them, or drinking supplements as meals if you will not be able to continue doing so long-term. That LIFESTYLE thing again.  Wise choices are not punishment.

                   



Another good day

Calories in: 1662
Calories burned: 521
Net:               1141- and that's with a snack of red wine, popcorn and almonds!
Getting the hang of this.
Woke up this morning certain I would rather die than go to spin; I have a bad habit of staying up really late the night before. Jumped up at the last possible minute and got there just in time. Of course enjoyed it and was glad that I pushed myself; as always.
The lesson here is to continue doing these things until they become habit. It's a LIFESTYLE...
Did cry today- those of us who use food as a buffer zone find emotions bubbling to the surface as we back away from it. It's amazing how anesthetizing peanut M & M's can be!
My advice? Let those tears flow and sit with your feelings. They hurt; but pain won't kill you, and you can't avoid it indefinitely. We are strong and flawed and courageous and vulnerable; in other words, HUMAN.
Tonight I feel calm and satisfied with my efforts.
Try it- you'll like it.

Low-Cal Breakfast

Do you collect healthy recipes? I came up with this for breakfast this morning, and it was delish.
Ingredients:
Fresh mushrooms- 1/2 cup or as many as you like; they're nearly 'free' in terms of calories.
Chopped fresh red sweet pepper- 1/2 of the pepper or, again, as you like.
1 cup Egg Beaters Original
1 Mission low fat, whole wheat tortilla.
A smidge of olive oil (maybe 1/2 tbsp.)

Spray a small saute pan with non-stick spray. Saute the mushrooms & peppers until crisp/tender; 3-4 minutes. Add salt & pepper to the veggies. Drizzle with the olive oil to add some flavor. Add the Egg Beaters and stir as they set up. They will cook within 2-3 minutes.
Warm the tortilla; either in the microwave or by laying it over your egg mixture in the pan for 20-30 sec.
Place the tortilla on the plate and arrange the egg and vegetable mixture on top. If you like, sprinkle on a little Franks Hot Sauce.
Enjoy! This meal comes in at around 320 calories.

Gaining Momentum

Today's calories in:  1534
Calories burned:        286
Net:                         1248
That's progress! Unusual day today; went in to work at 3AM until 1130AM, so got 3 hrs' sleep. Did fine though; then went food shopping to fill my house with healthy choices. This project requires preparation; buying large amts of lean meats and seafood then getting it all home and separating it into smaller portions in freezer bags. The whole process took a few hours, but felt positive and I'm already feeling more in control.
Then afternoon came and fatigue set in. Took a 2 hr nap, made dinner, cleaned up, and before I know it it's 8PM and I haven't fulfilled my goal of walking on non-spin days. One benefit of the blog; I had declared the goal in print, so I had to follow through. I tied on the snow sneakers and headed out for a brisk 30-minute walk with a good hill near the end for good measure.  Had the ipod cranked up, the air was crisp, the stars were beautiful and it felt very good to honor a promise to myself. As an added bonus, except for passing under streetlights, I could jive to the music; do my best George Jefferson without notice!
Point being, if I can do it, so can you! When you lose yourself and revert to self-destructive behaviors, it is easy to forget how good taking care of yourself can feel. And this is only two days into it! The good habits can be reclaimed. The challenge? Maintaining them for life...
Until tomorrow friends.

Day's Totals

Calories in: 2090
Calories burned: 521
Net: 1569
I have Univera insurance & I'm doing their ActiveRewards program. It's nice; you enter your exercise and food intake and all is calculated for you.
I see that I'm going overboard on portion sizes (no surprise there)- but I can live with those numbers. I definitely need to burn more, too. Always resisted adding up every little thing; it seemed so boring and obsessive- but I see the value in having it spelled out accurately and in print. You definitely can see where you're going wrong, and eventually you get the hang of it and won't have to do it forever (I hope).
It's also my Happy Hour night with my Dad; probably the most caloric day of the week. In my search for balance, I don't want to give up the celebrations and rituals of life; just tone them down.

New Day- So far so good

Just checking in to report attendance at the 6:15 30 minute spin class at the Y. Yes, kids, that is 6:15 AM. My friend and co-worker Christina, who has made impressive and permanent lifestyle changes over the past few years, is an instructor and pursuaded me to start in November of '10. The problem? I'm that type of chubette who feels entitled to eat everything in sight because I have worked out... Must realize that the food choices need to compliment the exercise. Cereal with raisins for breakfast and the rest of the day before me like a minefield. One meal at a time, one day at a time, one sweat session at a time and one pound at a time.

Goal: attend all 3 AM spin classes weekly, add walking on the other days and eat no second helpings.

yoyo no more- the countdown begins!

Today I weigh 238#. I am 49 years old and in reasonably good health, but have battled weight for as long as I can remember. I'm intermittently, sporadically health-conscious and fit; although I yoyo up and down by 60 pounds or so (at varying degrees within the range)- yet never get all the way down to the 'ideal body weight' charts.  I tell myself that I'm just not made to be thin; that my ideal weight is somehow okay at 40 pounds above everyone else's. I have also suffered from a bipolar body image; on one hand absolutely loathing myself, and on the other hand believing that I make a pretty hot fat chick. At 5'7", I carry the weight well (more rationalization); I'm smart and funny and nice and people tend to accept me as I am.
As the milestone birthday approaches in October, however, I am reminded of the number one reason for achieving and maintaining a healthy weight- HEALTH! The concept of life expectancy has entered the picture, and with it the realization that mine might be shortened.
Yesterday I decided to complete a health assessment on my insurance carrier's website. Get this- they recommended that I lose 79 pounds!! I looked down. Did I have seventy-nine extra pounds on me? That would put me at 159, which I last weighed almost 30 years ago, for about two days. The prospect of the lifestyle changes needed to achieve this goal is daunting; hence the decision to make the process PUBLIC. I mean, what better way to shame myself into action? Let's try this again- to MOTIVATE myself by sharing my issues and challenges with others who understand?
I should note that I have tried to accept myself as I am, and not care whether I over-filled any particular mold. At a certain point, though, I had to get real. Yes, I know that I have value as a human being regardless of my pant size, but the truth is I know that I can do, be and feel much better. It's about personal best here; not comparisons.
I'm tired and unable to maintain the pace of activity that allows me to function at my best both personally and professionally. I'm depressed and there's only so much the happy pills can do. My clothes look BIG to me when I see them on hangers or fold them. I'm young and fun-loving at heart, and want to have THAT LIFE. The scary part will be the day the goal is reached; what then? I have never been able to maintain, but I hope to figure it out this time around; hopefully with the help and support of readers!
That said- let's get started! I will post journal entries and weekly weights. I invite you to watch my progress, and to share your own.